My hands were tired, I didn’t think I could lift them up to You anymore
The numbness of my heart wouldn’t let me feel Your love like I used to
Honestly, I was just so done trying and failing — EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It felt as though I was sinking in my helplessness
Not knowing what to do to get out of it
Did I feel like my soul could find rest? No
Raising a cry for help? Didn’t think much could come out of it either
Hoping for hope? I was starting to believe it was a joke
Forget my future, my present looked blurry I didn’t even realize when this wave of devastation came crashing down on me
The weight of brokenness and frustration had taken over
Pointless pain seemed like the only real thing in my life
But then I heard You say, “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed.”
And then You said, “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”
Wrestling with my thoughts and trying to make sense
of how You just wouldn’t agree to give up on me, I was back at Your feet
I did not know where else to go
I thought maybe I’d find peace everlasting in You
Maybe You could turn this nightmare into something beautiful
I remember asking if You could do something
As my heart secretly wished for a miracle
And my eyes fought hard to keep that ray of hope
You simply answered, “Be still and know that I am God.”
And that was all I needed…
Knowing, trusting and living it has made all the difference.